Wonderfully described definitions

Wonderfully described definitions

CIGARETTE:  
A pinch of tobacco 
Rolled in paper   
With fire at one end 
And a fool at the other! 

MARRIAGE:  
It’s an agreement 
Wherein 
A man loses his bachelors degree 
And a woman gains her masters 

LECTURE:  
An art of transmitting Information 
From the notes of the lecturer 
To the notes of students 
Without passing through the minds 
Of either 

CONFERENCE:  
The confusion of one man
Multiplied by the 
Number present 

COMPROMISE:  
The art of dividing 
A cake in such a way that 
Everybody believes 
He got the biggest piece 

TEARS:  
The hydraulic force by which 
Masculine will power is 
Defeated by feminine water-power! 

CONFERENCE ROOM:  
A place where everybody talks, 
Nobody listens 
And everybody disagrees later on 

ECSTASY:  
A feeling when you feel 
You are going to feel 
A feeling 
You have never felt before

CLASSIC:  
A book 
Which people praise, 
But never read 

SMILE:  
A curve 
That can set 
A lot of things straight! 

OFFICE:  
A place 
Where you can relax 
After your strenuous 
Home life 

YAWN:  
The only time 
When some married men 
Ever get to open 
Their mouth 

EXPERIENCE:  
The name 
Men give 
To their 
Mistakes 

DIPLOMAT:  
A person 
Who tells you 
To go to hell 
In such a way 
That you actually look forward 
To the trip 

OPTIMIST:  
A person 
Who while falling 
From EIFFEL TOWER 
Says in midway 
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!” 

MISER:  
A person 
Who lives poor 
So that 
He can die RICH! 

FATHER:  
A banker 
Provided by 
Nature 

BOSS:  
Someone 
Who is early 
When you are late 
And late 
When you are early 

POLITICIAN:  
One who 
Shakes your hand 
Before elections 
And your Confidence 
Later