STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations.
1. At movies:
“Hey ! What are you doing here ?”
Me: “I sell tickets in black here. Don’t you know?”

2. In bus: A fat lady steps on my feet:
“Sorry did that hurt ?”
Me: “No not at all. I’m on local
anesthesia. Why don’t you try again ?”               
3. When I get woken up at midnight by a
call: “Sorry ! Were u sleeping ?”
Me: “Na ! I was doing research on
monkeys in Africa. You thought I was sleeping, u stupid fool ?”

4. When they see me with shorter hair: “Hey ! Have u had a haircut ?”
Me: “Nah ! Its autumn. my hair’s shedding !”      

5. When someone calls on land-line n asks: “Where r u ?”
Me: “M in market with telephone around my neck !!”

6. When I m washing my bike….
Neighbor: “Hey ! Are u washing ur bike?”
Me: “No, I m just watering it so that it grows into a big car.”