Due to the current and often false allegations of women against men, please find enclosed herewith a copy of ‘Agreement Before SEX’ for your safe sex ride and to avoid rape charges thereafter :
_____AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX_____
I, __________________________, the undersigned female partner (herein referred to as the ‘screwee’), about to enjoy sexual intercourse with _______________ _______________ (hereafter referred to as the ‘screwer’), certify as follows :
1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.
2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic substance(s).
3. THAT the aforementioned screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.
4. THAT I, the screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever.
5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him.
6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and I do not care.
7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk.
8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him; because I love it and want it as much as he does.
9. THAT in the event that I receive full and ‘delicious’ satisfaction, which I expect, declare in advance, the capacity and willingness for further participation as soon as time permits.
10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that :
a) I contract a sexual disease,
b) I become pregnant,
c) I feel that he is violating any legislation – moral, legal or
SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED ON THIS __________ DAY OF (MONTH)_____________________
(YEAR) ___________ AT ____________ __________________________________
Signature of Screwee :