19 Santa Jokes

19 jokes 1. Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast pitaayi ho gai. Why ? Santa ne sales girl se kaha:
‘Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate lengi.’

2. Why did the Grammar teacher slap Santa’s Son?
B’coz he asked:
Why is BRA Singular, when it covers 2 items, And PANTIES Plural when it Covers
one item ?

3. Santa: Darling rape ka matlab kya hai?
Jeeto: Sahi jagah par galat aadmi!

4. Santa on long tour asks Banta to inform if anything unusual happens at his home.
Banta SMSs after a month:
Man who comes to Screw your Wife daily, didnt come today.

5. Banta ne Suhaag raat ko biwi se poocha: Kya tum VIRGIN ho?
Biwi: Ji, magar PEECHE se! Aur Tum?
Banta: Main bhi, magar aage se.

6. Santa : Ek condom dena, girlfrend ko gift dena hai
Dukaandar : Is par gift cover chada du?
Santa: Arre nahi yehi to cover hai. Gift to mere paas hai.

7. Banta: It is a shame but let me confess, I have become HOMOSEXUAL.
Wife: How come?
Banta: I have Sex at HOME only!

8. Santa divorced his wife on 1st night.
Banta asked him the reason, Santa relied: On her panties there was a sticker which said ‘OK/Tested. Mohan Lal & Sons’

9. Pappu: What is the difference between Pyar, Ishq, Aur Mohabbat.
Santa: Kuch nahi beta, sab free sex karne ke bahane hai…

10. Banta to a girl: What’s your name?
Girl: Carmen.
Banta: Yeh kaisa naam hai?
Girl: Becoz I like Cars and men. What’s your name?

11. Banta wanted Twins. So what did he do?
He Made two Holes in the Condom.

12. Santa’s father gave him a gun on wedding night & said:
Fire in air if your wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

13. Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Why did you not hit back – Didnt you have anything in your hands?
Santa: I had.
Banta: What?
Santa: His wifes boobs!

14. Santa on a blind date with a gori.
Santa: Do you object to fucking?
Gori: Thats something I’v never done.
Santa: What! You are a Virgin?
Gori: No, Never Objected!

15. On 1st night Santa uses all his power to push it in.
Fails but proudly says: Too tight! But I’m happy I’m the 1st.
Bride: No ji. Others removed the panty 1st.

16. Santa was watching a Blue Film. He saw his wife in the film.
After the film ended he said: Thank God it was just a movie & not real.

17. Santa to Banta after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for my testimonials.
I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

18. Santa: What is the similarity between a Bank & a Bra ?
Banta: Dono ke ander Jitna MAAL Jyaada Utna Interest Jyaada.

19. Santa was teaching Preeto swimming.
After 2 hrs Preeto said: Tell me, will I really drown like a leaking boat if u take out your finger?